In goes your eye out

journal extract 010318

In goes your eye out (or how I escaped my first death)

blinking yes, there was my movement
I did that
it was not an act for the faint hearted.
the blinking
it so touched the solace
empty deep from light to dark to light
it was fair
was the faith
the reflex
did stop the flow of tears
and sound too was a jungle
and now the act was obscure, lost to that wall
highway into my nerves
the blink of an eye
mine eye
tatter tatter
soon the second had been long and infinite more
hit by this barrage that caught and carried
savaged what I knew, crescendo taking and changing
and I blinked again
while the world rode through and rode through
sniggers upended, sighted some bastards falling
from their bikes, curling their toes in jest I think
screaming laugh like, out upon the force just summer
or arms of mum, holding me into a heart
heart heart heart perfect permanent, smell her life
until fools again
fallen again I said tipping something resembling hat
adult stumble crazy, waking up she let him go
so then I took the breath, deep
fresh to the deep
as oxygen hit and day opened
yes opened to the time… (sod it, was said, seeing it coming)
eyes blinking to less painful…
rush the air sound as shadow dies from rooms corners
as things fall into place
as yes here you are
this stutter that caught you, took you, held you
as just death rising up to claim another moment

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